Asking for help does not imply weakness. It’s a form of wisdom and acknowledgment that you need help to stay strong.
At a very young age, we are taught to be independent and to be responsible for our own necessities. It’s great because it makes us self-sufficient and independence is a highly valued personal trait that can serve us well as we mature throughout our lives.
But what happens when this need to be self-sufficient turns into an illogical ego-driven-mindset that can hold us back from asking for needed help?
We all struggle to ask for help
The reality is that most of us at some point or another will be held back by our own ego and we won’t ask for help because we either believe that asking for help is a form of weakness or in some cases, we won’t ask for help because we don’t know how.
As I was growing up I was always a very independent individual. Even at a very young age I was always doing things for my self and would rarely ask for help. I would wake up on my own and go to school, get my own clothes and dress myself all when other kids my age were being hassled by their parents to do the same.
For me, learning how to ask for help came at a very young age. After my spinal cord injury at the age of 15, I was left with paralysis in nearly 80 percent of my body, which as you might imagine made me less independent.
Post injury, I would always feel extreme frustration, when I dropped things and had to pick them up, or when I had to do something for myself that was more challenging as a result of my injury. Sometimes that frustration would cause me to be very angry and it changed my emotional state.
I was always very stubborn and always wanted to do things for myself even when it was impossible. While persistence and perseverance are important traits to have as a person, it’s also important to know your limitations and therefore when to ask for help.
All of this was driven by my ego and somehow I believed that asking for help was a form of weakness or even that it signified a more severe disability. The reality is that not asking for help during those tough moments was holding me back from making a quicker recovery and even affected my emotions in a negative way.
I struggled for years with the fact that I had to ask for help until I finally started to understand that asking did not make me weaker but smarter. This came with time and the realization that asking for help made me more efficient and allowed me to dedicate energy to other more important things rather than trying to achieve nearly impossible tasks.
As I struggled through my daily routine, again and again, I would ask for help more and more and my morning and days became a lot more manageable and my attitude changed. I also became more productive because often those times I spend trying to do things that were impossible I was wasting time that could have been used in a better way.
Check your ego and reach out
As we go through our lives we will be faced with instances where we will struggle and question whether we need help or not. It’s and ultimately up to you to decide if you need help and if you ill ask for it. When you find yourself in this situation do an ego check and find out if it’s stubbornness that’s holding you back from reaching out.
If you’re struggling with a personal issue or going through a difficult situation reach out and ask for help, it’s likely that you will be holding back because your ego is getting in the way. Your ego might be the only thing holding you back between feeling better or overcoming that adversity you’re experiencing.
Think about the moments during your day where you needed help but held back. Was it your ego getting in the way? How else can we become more aware of when we need help but are being held back by our own pride?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.